SEASON 3 EPISODE 22 (PART II): THE PEACE

As I named this episode "The Peace", I am reminded of an old worship song that I used to sing in Sunday School many many years ago:

He is my peace, who has broken down every wall

He is my peace, He is my peace!

He is my peace, who has broken down every wall
He is my peace, He is my peace!

Why do I say that? Well, as I prepared for The Move in Part I (see below), I received an email from the large City firm I applied to for a training contract. I was informed that I was not shortlisted for an interview, resulting in the end of the road.

I have been hoping and praying very hard about this application. So, when I got this, one could imagine how devastated I was. I was even reduced to tears for a while.

As I sobbed in my room, I really wished I had a physical shoulder to cry on and a companion with me to comfort me. Apart from the LORD, the only persons I could go back to were my parents. I managed to talk to them over SKYPE and I was very surprised and comforted that my mum was clearly not disappointed with the outcome. She said that as she read my email, it was impressed upon her that the way is very clear (ie to return to the firm I had the God-given opportunity to undergo 3 weeks of work experience back in April).

I took great comfort in that, but I was not entirely convinced that was the way and was advised me to see whether there is a message from the LORD at church on Sunday. More of that later.

But, it is what happened in the course of this week that is of more importance. One of the steps I took, after consulting my parents was to inform one of my lecturers about it who knew about my application and see what would happen.

I approached my lecturer on Tuesday and to my surprise, he did something which I did not think would happen - to call the firm's HR Department on my behalf! From there, he was able to get the firm to send me written feedback on why I was not shortlisted!!

The feedback illustrated not only what went wrong with my application, but also the standard that I had to rise up to in order to get into their firm (or perhaps, any City firm). The negative comments made my heart very heavy and I carried that heavy heart throughout that day. In fact, I also realised that I would not be able to meet that standard because to do so will be going against my own character!

Wednesday morning was perhaps the positive climax of all that had happened. I thought I did not receive a word from the LORD on Sunday that was specific to my situation. But, on my father's advice (who later told me that he believed there was a word for me there), I revisited the notes I took from the sermon on "Food sacrificed to idols" (1 Corinthians 8:1-13). The focus of that sermon was 1 Corinthians 8:1b which read: "Knowledge puffs up, but loves builds up".

I then recalled that as I listened to the sermon, I thought about my profession as a lawyer. We lawyers have special knowledge that the lay man would not have (ie the knowledge of the law). Now, we would like to think that we will be one level higher than the lay man - which often leads to being proud about it. But, as a Christian lawyer, what is our Code of Conduct? We perform our legal duties as a form of service to the community, which is driven by love. My Quiet Time in the Daily Bread that day was my life verse Micah 6:8. Philip Yancey was the writer of the QT and he used this verse to remind us of our obedience to God and our "assigned tasks". To me, I believe my assigned tasks are to complete the LPC exams and to be a lawyer. This is my obedience to the LORD. Once again, the words in Micah 6:8 of "walk humbly with your God" struck me.

Now, what does all this have to do with the City firm? Well, I have been reminded time and time again that my Achilles' heel is this tendency to be arrogant. I believe that will be harder to control if I was working in a prestigious firm and receiving a big pay packet in the City. Instead, I believe the LORD has shown me - through this experience - that I am more suited for a non-flashy environment where I can contribute more, learn more and most importantly, develop the character of being humble. The humility part is also linked to my name and confirms my late grandfather's wisdom when he picked my Chinese name.

I have now gone on to call the firm I worked with for 3 weeks in April to ask whether there is any opening for a paralegal. This is my part of the deal and I submit this to the LORD to do His part as I now return to my preparations for exams in peace. I will head off to Sanctuary at Methodist Central Hall with that spirit of thanksgiving because of Jesus, who is my Peace!

Thanks be to God! Amen!