SEASON 5 EPISODE 2: LENT 2009 & THE MONTH OF MARCH

The season of Lent this year has already been very eventful. Just within the first week of that season, many life-altering things have happened.

The first is on Ash Wednesday last Wednesday, the beginning of Lent where I believed there was another buzzword for me for the season. That word is “Wait” and I want to quote a couple of passages from Bishop Dr Robert Solomon’s in his article “Waiting on God” that was published in the March 2009’s issue of the Methodist Message:

“We must note that the LORD Himself chose to see time in a kairos (God’s special moments) rather than a chronos (chronological) way. Often He would say that His time had not yet come, meaning that He waited for the right opportune time, never rushing into it. And when it came, He noted it and fulfilled His purposed. Jesus often waited in His life and ministry. He waited 30 years for His opportune time.”

Bishop Solomon goes on to say:

“The spiritual discipline of waiting is not a passive act of hopeless surrender to fate, but an active commitment and consecration to the living God, who shapes us according to His purposes and into the image of His Son. While we wait for God, something happens in us – we become strengthened, the spiritual sinews of our souls become exercised and we grow in grace...

Often the discipline of waiting is exercised through prayer. Prayer slows us down; it teaches us to reject the urge to go our own way, to trust in our own strength or smartness, to take things into our own hands. Prayer helps us to wait.”

Wait for what? Well, this year, there are 2 aspects of my life I believe the LORD wants me to wait on Him and be patient.

The first is in my career. It was on Ash Wednesday itself that the thoughts of leaving the job came to mind through a chat with my mother. She sensed that I was not happy where I was. Well, on Saturday, the opportunity arose to tell my boss how I felt about the situation.

I was glad that both employer and employee believed that it was a “job mis-match” and I felt a burden being lifted at being at peace. I also believe that the departure from the job was a kairos moment. It happened so quickly that I immediately packed up my things. What’s next? Well, for now, it is just a break and re-assessing my goals. I truet that the LORD will provide the next step.

The second is in the area of relationships. While I am more or less certain that I might have met “my match”, through all that has been said and done, it is not the time to proceed further. I shall be patient and wait on the LORD to reveal that kairos moment.

While waiting, from what has already happened, I think what is needed of me is to build relationships with others and be a friend to others around me. The most important thing is that I pray for the strength to remain patient and like the parable of the growing seed in Mark 4:26-29, allow the seed of friendship to grow “all by itself”, take comfort that the seed is growing though I "do not know how" it does and I look to the day where I can “put the sickle to it because the harvest has come” (v29).

To round it all off, I saw a double rainbow on the way back home from work. The second rainbow might not be very clear from the photo, but if you look a little more carefully, you will see the faint shades of it. I managed to capture that moment with a photo from my mobile phone.

A very pretty sight, don't you think?

The saying goes that your wishes will come true when you see a rainbow. In this case, it is a double rainbow! But, while I am hoping that the desires of my heart will be granted, I trust the LORD will provide - in His time and in His special way.

What is required of me? Following Bishop Solomon's advice: pray because it helps us to wait.

SOLI DEO GLORIA!

SEASON 5 EPISODE 1: A NEW YEAR, A NEW SEASON!

It has been a long while since I last updated this blog. This is because I was going through a period of “wandering in the wilderness”. In my last blog entry, I mentioned that I went for an interview in a law firm – I never got that job.

Since then, I spent the rest of 2008 thinking through life and where the LORD wanted me to be. It was not the best of times because I wanted some form of certainty and a direction.

To “make things worse”, there were developments in my other spheres of life, most notably the desire to be more active in church. But, I could not really commit myself to that if I was to be called back to London!

Despite all this happenings, I made use of the time available to gain some experience as an intern in a large Singapore law firm and on looking back, I believe I was there for a reason: to stand in the gap for the pupils were still away completing the PLC for the months of October and November. I ended my internship on Christmas Eve.

This period of time was not the most exciting of times. There were so many unanswered questions and I wondered how much longer I have to wait until I see the end of the tunnel. It was mentally and emotionally frustrating. But, things took a turn somewhere in November 2008.

It began with one of those ventilating sessions with my parents where I was brought back to revisit the reason for heading to London and in particular, Westminster University to do the LPC. That reason was very specific, to read the Entertainment and Media Law elective.

(For those who know me, you would recall that I wanted to be an entertainment lawyer. Well, I lost that focus as well during this period of “wandering in the wilderness.”)

I gave that some thought and after much reflection, I realised that ultimately, entertainment and media was still my pet area and that spurred me to do the next step: what am I going to do after my internship at this law firm?

Well, at the LORD's appointed time, I did some random surfing on the web at the appointed website and stumbled upon a job as an “in-house legal advisor for a communications agency.” The advertisement was only posted the day before I chanced upon it.

As they dealt with movies and entertainment, I decided to give it shot and submitted my CV to someone whom I thought I knew from past connections.

The next day, this person called me and the first thing he said was: “do you remember me?”J True enough, it was that same person I worked with in a performance 2 to 3 years ago and the rest is history!

I got the job and started in 2009. I give thanks to God for providing and fulfilling the immediate need – gainful employment, the beginning of a career in my desired industry and a direction in life. With this, I can now commit myself to be more active in church and to build relationships with my fellow brothers and sisters. Alas, a new year, a new season!

Thanks be to God!

SEASON 4 EPISODE 7: THE CONVICTION

I went for a job interview yesterday afternoon for a dispute resolution paralegal in an international law firm based in Millenia Tower in the City. The circumstances that led to this interview are quite unique:

(1) I was never asked to see the recruiter for an interview- the one who put up the advertisement. This is different from the other recruiters who called me for an initial profiling session;

(2) all communication was done through email or telephone call; and

(3) interestingly, this position was not published on the law firm's careers page on their website.

One might what this has to do with the title of this episode. It has lots to do with the title and this is the link:

During the interview, I felt that I spoke with confidence and answered the questions with heartfelt sincerity. This confidence stems from an internal conviction that grew over time - the conviction that I am called to be a lawyer and that I will eventually qualify.

When all things seem to be gloomy, one's confidence and belief can be shaken. It was the same for me. This happened while I was in London where all my applications for training contracts and paralegal positions were unsuccessful. It was a dampener but despite all this, I stood up and completed the LPC successfully.

On my return home, I had the privilege of being an intern at an international law firm. During that period, I asked myself whether I was on the right track and wondered why is the route to becoming a solicitor so difficult. I wondered whether I should have done a general business degree or even be an accountant.

It was one night that I pulled out one of my journals which recorded some of the many circumstances that led me to pick up law. There were many circumstances that led me into the study of law, one of which was the exposure to law during my polytechnic days.

But, in one of my entries, I recorded that one of my lecturers informed me that the same law module will not be offered to subsequent batches of Business IT students because of a change of curriculum and the introduction of the cross-disciplinary module system. This document was a memory-jolting one!

I am unaware as to whether what my lecturer said really happened. But if it did, then the timing of everything could not be any better than this. If I had entered the course a year later, I would not be where I am right now. A year earlier, there will be no such course because I was the course's pioneer batch of graduates. Therefore, the feeling of been on the wrong track is purely academic because there is no alternate history for me! That means I am on the right track!

I even recalled that my heart was certain that I was to go ahead with my law studies, even though my then girlfriend discouraged me from doing so. In the process, I made a few sacrifices, one of which was to take myself out of the polytechnic Choir which I was quite active then. I also ended my relationship with her sometime then because of irreconciable differences.

So, putting all this together, I can say that my route to becoming a solicitor was a challenging one and it is through all this that have made me more capable to handle challenges. This is how I began my "speech" before the interviewers yesterday and I now await news from the recruiter.

I have been trained as a lawyer and even though the thought of doing business, finance or even accounting have crossed my mind, I have dismissed it because that is not what I am supposed to do.

My calling is indeed to be a lawyer and I look to the day where I will get my license to practice. I believe that even though nothing tangible seems to be emerging, the God of the Bible, the Creator of heaven and earth is working in the background and that we take heart that in all things, God will work for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose (Romans 8:28).

SOLI DEO GLORIA!

SEASON 4 EPISODE 6: THE TRANSIT

It has been two weeks since the end of my internship and since then, I have been sending out my CV to legal recruitment agencies for profiling, attending interviews and most importantly, enjoying the retreat from the hustle and bustle of the working life.

During this period, I was largely on my own, walking around my "haunts" on the island, sipping coffee at coffee joints with my latest toy - a 80GB iPod Classic - and book in hand. I have also ransacked my family's library of books for good theological classics to read and chew on.

I think it is appropriate to share some thoughts about a personal project of mine, which is to document my own thoguths on the Christian faith. The contents will largely be my own personal thoughts, but like all lawyers, I will look back on what others have said before (ie the great theologians of the past). I am also looking at incorporating philosophy - both Western and Eastern philosophy into this. It may cause some "disturbance in the force", but ultimately, I want to put forth my own case for the faith - like an advocate will do before he presents his case before the court of law.

Over the years, through all my experiences in life, there has been a growing desire to know the word "Christianity", a word that I have been indicating as my religion on application forms I have been filling up of late at those legal recruitment agencies. This seed was sown during the days with my ex-girlfriend many years ago. This is one of the many positive results of this failed relationship and it is this that I will always thank the LORD for. This seed germinated and grew during my law studies - especially in my final year where I had to do Jurisprudence (ie the philosophy of law) in order to graduate. It has been growing since then but the next significant point was when I was in London. My library of books which I built up in my own room during my nine months (and the occasions where I led Bible Study over there) caused much exponential growth. Now back in Singapore, all this growth culminates (in some sense) in this life-long project of mine and what better time for the launch than in this transitory period, while waiting for my next flight in the journey of life.

But, I don't think I can do this alone. As it is a life-long project, I am praying for the LORD to provide the appropriate companion to come alongside me to assist, guide and inspire.

I guess this can keep my mind occupied during this transitory period. I am praying this period will not be too long and that I can be gainfully employed again! I have been "out of action" for 2 weeks now and am eager to return to the working world. How long, O LORD do I have to wait?

SEASON 4 EPISODE 5: WHAT AN ADVENTURE!

Today marks the end of my four-week internship at the Singapore office of an international law firm. Well, I leave that place with fond memories and I believe I have thorougly enjoyed myself. The people, the tasks given and the exposure, these will be remembered.

While there's no opening for either an extension or a permanent position, I am not disappointed because I know that this internship will add some weight and "colour" to my CV. I can say that I have worked in an international law firm, experienced the "high-end" work that they do and confirm my position that I am on the right track.

During this internship, I have asked myself why I chose to be a lawyer and why this path to be one. What if I had chosen to do a general business degree and find a comfortable job. Well, in one of my journal entries written during the days of my internship and all that, I was informed by my liaision officer for my SIP that the legal module that I took (which sparked off the interest in law) will not be a compulsory module for the subsequent batches on the Business IT course. This is because of the change in the structure of curriculum.

If this really happened, then I can only say that if I had entered the course later, I would not be where I am now. Hence, there is no alternate history for me and this shows that I am on the right track. So, this gives me the confidence to continue threading on this journey to be a lawyer.

Thanks be to God for the experience and all that has happened. I now take a back seat, scan the field for the next opportunity and take it - even if it is to return to London to work.

This episode has been an adventure and I come out of it happy, at peace and confident.

SEASON 4 EPISODE 4: TAKING STOCK

In the previous episode, I gave my initial impressions of the English firm as an intern.

Three weeks have since passed and I must say that I have learnt alot, seen alot and read alot. I have undertaken quite a variety of tasks from the different departments. This ranged from conducting research on the oil and gas industry in Indonesia, Australia and the African countries to proof-reading transactional documents. I even had to conduct research on the private equity houses and the various investment banks. What an eye-opener!

I am still in the midst of taking stock on all these experiences. There's still another week to go and I look forward to it.

SEASON 4 EPISODE 3: HUMBLY THANKFUL

I write this episode with a humbly thankful heart. Why? Well, by His grace and mercy, the LORD provided a 4-week internship in the Singapore office of an English law firm and I have completed my first week.



On my first day, I believed I entered an entirely different realm! Those are only, in my honest opinion, the best words to describe it. One can only fully understand what I am saying when one is in the firm. It may only be the first day, but by the fact that I already have such comments, it is quite telling!



I believe that things will heat up and get more interesting in the coming days. Therefore, it is all the more that I continue to disregard all my pride, humbly perform all tasks to the best of my ability and giving thanks to the LORD each day. I am also of the opinion that through this, He will show me first-hand what it REALLY means to be humble. It is a terribly difficult thing to do if we rely solely on our own human strength.



Well, this is not the first humbling experience I had thus far, but I can say that this reinforces the meaning of my Chinese name "敬善", when translated means "respectfully submitting to what is good". These characters were decided upon by my late paternal grandfather after thoughtful study into the life of King Josiah in the Old Testament of the Christian Bible.



Even though my grandfather is no longer around to tell me directly why he chose those characters, it will serve as a constant reminder of what I need to do which is neatly summarised in my life verse, Micah 6:8 (ie to seek justice, love mercy and walk humbly with my God), These are the things that are good - which the LORD has shown through His Son, Jesus Christ.